Originally Posted by smilo
I secretly hoped that they came back positive. That is how addicted to drama I was.
We truly are sick when we are stuck in codependency. I have had similar thoughts, where I hoped this or that would happen, and then maybe, either my AH or myself would have the courage to seek divorce. But, many times, I would prefer HIM to make the first move. I don't know why. I don't know if it's because I THINK then I won't have to live with guilt or what? Or possibly, if HE made the first move, then he may not get suicidal - like I have the power to "make" him suicidal anyway. It is craziness. I want out of being addicted to the drama!