It is the frog in the hot water thing.
You know the story? Frogs can only sense difference in temperature, not so much just hot or cold.
So the story goes that if you toss a frog in pot of hot water, it would be aware it was hot and jump out.
BUT, if you place the frog in cool water and slowly turn the heat up, the frog does not notice the difference and slowly becomes "cooked" as the water turns to boiling.
You have been living the "cooked frog" experience.
Happens to a LOT of *us*
You understand, your experience is normal for what you have been through?
NOW the important part is figuring out how to get out of the hot water.
Jump, frog, jump.