You all make valid points and I appreciate the condolences. My dog was an amazing dog and of all the things that have happened in the past few months this was kind-of the "straw that broke the camels back". Oh the crying that occurred.
Which led me to thoughts of "Big Plans". It made me think of all the members on here who are told it is IMPOSSIBLE to drink if you have a REAL big plan. So, for a lot of the day on Saturday I tried to say "well I will never drink again and will not change my mind." However, that just felt like a lie.
There are other things I don't do. I don't kill people. There have been times I've been so angry at my ex I felt like killing him, but I don't kill people, so I didn't do it. I don't steal either. There have been times when I've wanted something I couldn't afford and a fleeting thought of "I could just take this" comes, but I don't steal, so I have never acted on that.
Drinking is wrong for me and it's wrong for the people I love and who love me back. So it goes in the same category with other things I don't do. Ever.-Quote Soberlicious
I agree quite a bit with your post but, I must also say that you are probably capable of killing (self-defense) or possibly stealing (maybe to feed your starving child??) I don't know but, my point is situations could arise where killing or stealing would be options? At least in my mind they would be.
So despite that I don't intend to kill or steal in the future I see times when it may be a choice I would make. I don't intend to drink in the future however, can I truly say that days or years from now a situation could not arise where I would make that choice? I cannot honestly say no.
At any rate that is my only point. A lot of emphasis can be placed on the BP which when /if you break it makes you feel incapable of "forever sobriety". I personally do not have a true big plan. I just don't drink.
It is good to hear that BP's re not the be all end all of RR. Rereading the BP area in the book confirmed this. I am not on the "verge of drinking" and AVRT has changed my life. I am not knocking JT in any way... just wanted to know how others are doing with their BP's I guess. Wanted to know I was not the only one in this mindset.
Thanks to you all, Jess