Dee, I've got a few things I could pin it on. Father in law's latest cancer screen was yesterday. We (hubby and I) are in the process of selling our home. I'm scared to death about all of the changes going on. When I start feeling scared/sad/overwhelmed its just too easy for me to justify having a drink. The truth is I don't feel emotionally equipped to navigate lifes ups and downs. I think years of turning to alcohol for escape have stunted my emotional and spiritual development. I guess I just wanted to make it all go away for a night.