Originally Posted by
jkb 
Yay... Thankfully I am not alone in this... both dog and BP.
I have really tried to understand how I did not have a BP when I thought I had a BP and yet now if I make a BP its a real BP? What if its not a real BP AGAIN....How can I say with 100% certainty that I will never change my mind? All I do all the time is change my mind.
Anyway, I am really glad that some of you are asking the same question.
Absolutely. All I know for me is that *I* chose to drink, I went through all the beast activity *IT* wants, not me etc then basically went down the eff it road of actually *I* DO want to drink tonight.
That's where it comes in for me of not being able to make another BP, after so easily changing mind/head/voice.
Since joining I've not even been able to string a month together, sure 3 weeks and another 3 weeks after that, but nothing completely continuous. I suppose some would see that as me being quite blase about my sobriety, I dont think so, but I'm clearly not 'getting' it at some level.