Hello sandi,
I'm sorry to hear you're in the same boat with the rest of us. My AW of 19yrs is bailing, and very busy with several younger guys.
Originally Posted by sandiphoto
... I do not feel that AA has any consideration of the family unit ...
The foundation of AA, and all the other 12 step programs that derive from it, is the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" published by A.A. World Services Inc. Chapter 8 of this book addresses the spouse of the alcoholic, and Chapter 9 addresses the family. The program of recovery of AA spends a great deal of time on correcting the harm that alcoholics do to those who love them.
Most private recovery centers have extensive family treatment programs, led by certified marriage counselors or therapists. Running around with some young thing and _increasing_ the wreckage of our lives is very much against AA principles.
Originally Posted by sandiphoto
... It's just not right. What do you do? What do you say? I know I have healing to do.... but do we need to be separated or get a divorce for us to heal?
That is exactly how I feel about my AW and her decision to end our marriage.
Originally Posted by sandiphoto
... Why is AA and his AA friends the only thing that matters to him? And why can't he see it?
Pardon me if I sound blunt. In my opinion, he is _not_ working the program of recovery. He is just using it as "cover" to continue using and abusing people, places and things. Just because a drunk quits drinking doesn't immediately turn them into a saint.
What I'm doing is attending _my_ Al-Anon meetings, taking care of _my_ needs and making _my_ life better. If my AW chooses to join me in my life she can do so, but she will have to do so while respecting my boundaries and my needs.
Whadya think?
Mike :-)