It is so hard for me to understand... to deal with. My husband is 67 days sober and we are "temporarily" separated. Why? All the time and energy I put into dealing with our family and the issues his alcoholism created. And now that he's sober, he leaves. I almost wish he were still drinking, at least I knew how to deal with that. Ten years are going down the drain because he was "clouded" during that time and now he says he doesn't know if he meant any of it. I said to him... what about our marriage vows? Do they not mean anything? He said I was drinking and/or drunk at the wedding!!! Who says things like that? That is so selfish.
I am so confused by the situation. I do not feel that AA has any consideration of the family unit - it is be sober that's it. You sobriety is what matters - that's it. What about the rest of the world? Don't we matter? He told me I was a trigger and that he thinks that being around me will in time cause him to drink. So he has to be away from me... It's just not right. What do you do? What do you say? I know I have healing to do.... but do we need to be separated or get a divorce for us to heal? Why is AA and his AA friends the only thing that matters to him? And why can't he see it?