Hope2BHappy -- My husband is currently living with another woman who he met in rehab two months ago, and i have filed for divorce. This follows years of dealing with his infidelity and lies. This is not what i had in mind in terms of us when he became sober. It's been very painful for me, but with the help of this website and Al-Anon meetings, I have come to grips with the fact that I am a much better person right now, and my life will be better without him. We have been together for 16 years but that doesn't seem to matter at all to him. He gave all that up for somebody younger than him, who he's only known for a couple months. What can i do? I can't change his way of thinking. He needs to work this out on his own and if he feels he needs to be with somebody else who understands his disease better than i do, so be it. It's his loss. I didn't realize the problems sobriety could bring to me, but knowing that his disease has caused him to live in a clouded world all this time, he was never really himself. Now he is (i think?). I'd love for things to go back to the way they were, meaning the happy wonderful times (and there were many). But i could never trust him again after the way he left me like this. He calls me occasionally and we chat. He still calls me honey and sweetie, which confuses the heck out of me. He seems to be happier, but it's hard to tell with him.
hang in there, i will be thinking of you and others who have experienced the painful side of sobriety.