Picture of our kitchen counter.
No joke.
Turns out that when one drinks ENOUGH Decaf, you get the equivalent caffeine of a cup of real coffee.
Mrs. Hammer was banned from Regular Coffee as part of Eating Disorder rehab, so she has been drinking POTS (yes, entire POTS -- 3 or 4 a day) of Decaf to get the buzz. Sugar and sweetener were also banned, so we have been going through "Creamer" by the keg-full, as well.
And it is the cheap Walmart crap . . . ah, junkies!