Hi Jeni, I've been told that if we think we might "lose it", then it's extremely unlikely to happen. I used to go through spells when, in my description, my brain "went for a hike" for chunks of time. I wouldn't remember what had happened and yet time had passed. It scared me a lot. That has gone away now. I only dissociate on very rare occasions. No, everything isn't perfect but it's so much better than it was.
Hang in there, my friend. This, too, will get better!
Xxxxoooo