The hypocrisy, OMG. He would judge, point fingers, loudly verbalize how this or that was unacceptable behavior, this one or that one's priorities were all effed up etc... all the while exhibiting or tolerating the exact same behavior himself.
You gotta remember, he was a 'secret" drinker so I was NEVER fully aware of how intoxicated he was so I would stand there, just dumbfounded & at a loss for words to understand this hypocrisy. And when I would finally stutter out.... but these are things that YOU do, these are problems in YOUR life, how do YOU deal with it any better??? He would of course, quickly duck & run.
Now I understand more about his altered state, the addict way of thinking & that he really was judging himself & his own actions and externalizing it on others.