I was thinking a lot about my prior alcohol use yesterday. I was either trying to escape my own vicious mind or intolerable circumstances. For me, it was incredibly important to realize that I had to make my mind/self a much more hospitable place...one I did not want to flee from. I wish there were easy answers in how to turn that negative stream of self battery OFF..how do we switch the channel so to speak? How do we reprogram the constant stream of abusive thoughts? How do we turn off MEAN Radio..or the live simulcasts from others..lol. I guess that's what this little sober adventure is all about. For me, I'm really trying to make friends with myself.
Please know that this kind of thinking is not conducive to your sobriety CB...but unfortunately it comes with the territory because we addicts are NOT so good at being with ourselves...being patient and tolerant and self soothing. We tamed the beast of our brains by drowning it. There are better ways. We must learn empathy and compassion for ourselves..it ain't easy because we don't know how... but it MUST be done.