Here I go again...
I have to get honest with myself. I have a great sponsor and I lie to her when I am drinking. If I can't be honest, I'll never sustain recovery. I go to meetings, talk to people for a period of 10 days or so...feel great. Then I get out of the day and worried about the future, upset about the wreckage of the past, start to isolate in self pity and next thing I know I'm in a bottle. And as most of you know, it's never just a drink. Then I'm lying to everybody and eventually stop and go through days of hell! Day 3...feeling a little better, going to go to a meeting. But still shaky, dizzy, exhausted from insomnia, and haven't ate. My insides physically hurt from the poison I continue to put into it. All I can do is try again...I will NOT GIVE UP! Thanks for listening!