I have told my addicted brother that I will not be in his life, 100% no contact, unless he is living a clean life AND in a recovery program. He is such a negative person, even sober doesn't mean he is healthy to be around. So he is in jail now, clean because he is behind bars, but still manipulative and miserable to talk to, so I am still no contact. I have chosen to stay that way in order to put my health and balance first. Just because he is my brother does not give him the right use me.
My mother is not an enabler, she is too caught up in her own issues, but she puts those issues in front of me as well. I have put some distance between my mother and I because I used to get so upset when she was never there for me. I came to realize she was an addict (functioning alcoholic), she was selfish, she just doesn't have the capacity at this time to make me a priority at all (and at this point I never see that changing). Rather then get angry at her not including me in her life or being concerned about me, I have kept her at arms length and I just have no expectations anymore. Instead, I foster the healthy relationships in my life.
Sounds like your mother is co-dependent...it is her addiction.
It is your choice what boundaries you put in your life so that you can remain healthy and happy.