Hurt and Angry!
Hi everyone!
I'm new to this forum, and what sparked my interest for support is that my sister was just released from prison yesterday. My sis has been an addict for the past 15 years now. I've tried to have a relationship with her, but to no avail. It has gotten to the point where I have so much animosity towards her I can't even stand being in the same room.
She has stolen from everyone in the family including my blind dying grandmother, used my name to get out of tickets (I had to file charges on her the last time due to me losing my license), neglected and ignored her children (both fathers now have custody), and so much more. Too many horrible crazy things to list. I think the hardest thing for me is the constant roller coaster of she's clean then she's using.
It's hard to have hope for her, but that's just what my mother wants me to have. My mother is her enabler. She picks her up every time she falls. She seems to think that it is her fault my sister is the way she is. She even admits that my sister is her burden that she will carry until she gets better or dies. This makes me sad. I know my relationship with my mother has suffered because of my sister. She has basically chosen her over me every time. She does not give me the same attention as her and I have to admit I am insanely jeleous of my sister. My father has told me that is not that my mom doesn't love me, but that I am not a problem that needs to be fixed therefore I do not need her attention. It hurts. My mom takes my sister's children every other weekend but she has only watched mine about 5 times (in over 5 years). I almost feel like I have to start beating my kids or something for her to want to see them. (I would never do that, don't worry!)
I guess my dilemma is really should I maintain a relationship with her now that she has gotten out of jail to keep my mom happy or do I leave my sister be until she has gotten a job, apartment, and stays clean now that she's out. Every time she gets out of jail I feel like everyone forgets why she was in there and we all have to rush to her side to help her get back on her feet. Yes, I know she's clean now... but that's because she was in jail. I don't know. Should I give her her fifty millionth chance or should I wait until she has proven she can be a useful member of society? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks guys.