Originally Posted by
KittyH 
On December 31 1985 I killed my newborn daughter........ or so I feel and have NEVER had a day since that I don't feel that way.
I'm sorry for your loss Kitty, but in my opinion you were not the cause of your daughter's passing, nor was drinking the cause of your daughter's passing. Equipment malfunctions happen all the time. You're being too hard on yourself. As a parent, I'm sure it's natural to look at oneself to assign blame for a child's death, but you're taking this much too far.
It's time to make peace with yourself.