This is no longer just about you, but you are also harming your baby. You need to get help and check into rehab, before you cause irreversible damage to your child, if you havent already. This is not a way to live and I do not know what else to say. These posts are always the most difficult for me to read, because I do not understand how on Earth people still use when pregnant. I guess I will never understand, but I do know you can get help, but you have to admit your in over your head and get some outside council. Good luck.