wonderwoman75

Hi All,

I am at 7 weeks and 3 days of sobriety. This would not be so if it had not been for Naltrexone...

For the best part of 20 years I have been a huge drinker.

Im always the party girl, the one you take out when you need to get smashed, because I will always last with you until the end of the night. Always the last to leave. Always the most amazing quantities consumed.

Then you go home and dont drink again for days or even weeks, while I recover and get ready the following day for another crack at it. You all went and got married, went and had kids. I watched on like you were from another planet, waiting until the time when you might need a drinking buddy again.

Never affected my work, never affected my relationships, never affected my health. Self medication without a prescription needed. Boost to confidence, boost to risk taking, boost to social interactivity.

Laugh about the stupid things the day after "Ha, doesnt matter I was pissed!".

Break your arm in a fall, vomit in public, pass out in public, dangerous situations with men, fight with a friend or family member, uncontrollable crying.

Then meet the love of my life. He's married. The heart wants what the heart wants. He loves a drink. Drink together, be hungover together. Work together. Wife finds out, work colleagues find out. Things get ugly. Drinking becomes more regularly required. Miss days off work, quit job, new job, harrassment from wife and kids, change phone number...twice. He moves in, he moves out, he moves in he moves out, abusive phone calls. F*ck it all Im moving interstate.

Live with a friend interstate I havent seen in years. He's a drug addict, I didnt know. Miss my family, miss my friends, miss my lover. Drink hard, take drugs too. Brain melt down. Body meltdown. Depression, anxiety....gotta move back to be near him.

Return home, no-where to live, no job. Move in with mum. Wife still harrassing me, he is still loving me, Im having an intimate daily relationshiop with booze. Drink my way through the drama. Loss of friends. Over night hospital stays, suicidal, counselling....

Detox clinic.

6 days no booze, no cigarettes, no visitors. Eat my way through withdrawal (with a little help from daily valium...). Ridiculous, want out of here and a beer. Lover picks me up from discharge...straight to the pub. 10 cigarettes in a row. Dropped at mums sh*t faced. Not impressed.

Offered a job, get a new house. Move in. Job is not as was described, yelled at all day on the phone. Alcohol needed. Job quit. New job found. Easy work, good money. Lover still at hoe with wife. Overdose on valium and sleeping pills while drink to die. HAD ENOUGH.

But I dont die, I awake to my best friend, 3 police officers and 2 paramedics..off to the hospital we go. Psych ward admission. Im not crazy??!! Home again. More drinking. Fighting with lover. Hating the job. Need detox clinic but taken seriosuly. Cant get time off work for it. Drinking. Moving positions at work but dont want to.

F*ck it all, Ive got to get serious or Im going to die.

Quit job. Book into detox. This time Im ready and I WANT to fix this mess.

Clinic puts me on Naltrexone. Upon release Im feeling good and have no cravings, its weird. Weird in that Im not used to not wanting it ALL the time. See local GP, script written, Psychology referral, Weekly Alcohol Relapse Prevention Group referral, AA info, Alcohol counselling referral.

7 weeks later.....no booze. Everyone is so proud. I am too, but I cant set myself up for failure to say never again or Im fixed. One day at a time, One group therapy session a week, one psychologist visit a month and one Naltrexone tablet a day....