For me the penny dropped when I made the decision to face my 'demons' sober, and with all my faculties intact. Time to find some Big Boy Pants and put em on. I soon appreciated that my demons were caused by my drinking, not relieved by them. I was resolved to never drink again, no matter what. To be insecure and unsure of myself was just allowing the door to drinking again to remain open, when I needed to close it, lock it, and throw away the key.
Your mileage may vary, and you will need to find your own way forward. I wish you well whatever you decide to do.