XPartygirl, Being alcoholics, thoughts of drinking are normal. You are doing well. Iused to think the same thing. If I thopught about drinking I've somehow failed. You and all of us need to give ourselves credit. We must look at the whole picture. What did you do about those thoughts? You did just what the program calls for. You told someone, you kept yourself in a safe place and most of all you didn't drink. I still have drinking dreams at 19 months and have people with long term sobriety say they still do. In early recovery we need to control our actions. The fact is we are human, we're not always going to think and do the right thing. All we can do is try to be better. We would never paint others with the same perfect brush we paint ourselves. The key for me has been to be in places I can't act on these thoughts. If, I'm in a bar and have these desires, I'm in trouble. If, we are home, at a meeting in an ice cream or coffee shop by the time I've left the desire has gone. Keep up the good work. I'm pulling for you and proud of your actions to keep from drinking. Don W