I found that part of my recovery was like healing a big gaping wound (my childhood).
If I just sewed up the wound without cleaning out the muck it would be infected and never heal. That is what I had been doing for most of my life. Trying to heal my infected gaping wound with bandaids and sheer force of will.
When I was working the stuff that created the wound in the first place was when my coping mechanisms that were in place to keep me from having to look at the wound came out full force. With support, and a lot of hard work just recently I had an image that it was time to FINALLY sew myself up again.
I also had to have compassion for myself, and why I was doing what I was doing. When I heaped guilt on top of already feeling bad....I set myself up for another binge. This might be just me, but sometimes being a regular exerciser set me up also....I used it as a way to "overdo" too. I am not saying you are doing that....but my eating disorder was like a rubber band with exercise and food....I would stretch myself really thin. Then I would snap back on myself.
Take good care of yourself.