Hi Carly,
I can relate a lot to your post. I too didn't think my drinking was that problematic because like you stated, I didn't lose a job, a marriage, a license...yet! I also tried to regulate with zero success. And most importantly I was not happy and it was getting worse. I am currently 2 months into my sobriety and admittedly some days I struggle with the idea of never drinking again, but I have finally realized that I am an alcoholic. My life is so much better sober than it was while I was drinking and when I look ahead into my future I know that alcohol cannot be a part of it.
Like you I never drank when I was pregnant or nursing. I feel like having children just prolonged the inevitable for me- that I am an alcoholic. My kids are now almost 9,7,5 and 3. My drinking really escalated over the last year and it became obvious there was a problem.
Please keep coming back here for support- you aren't alone! Hugs, PG