Its hard to find an exact definition of this.
but from reading what you put i would say this kinda sums it up for me alot also..and i think this is as good an indicator as any to having a problem, or certainly heading that way if dont quit.........
"I have tried and failed to moderate my drinking time and again......"
I myself have done this over and over and over , got to a point (several times) where i know the only way is to think never again...
This time for me health worries are on my side to prevent me from continuing and that coupled with a new child makes me far more concerned about staying around for the years ahead to see him grow up.