Originally Posted by unindated

i appreciate that the tendency to need a drink may come from the fact they have arrived at a point where they are dependent on it.

What about lying about things that appear to have no relation to needing a drink. Do they get so use to lying to protect their addiction that they need to do it in all/most aspects of life?

Do they like seeing others unhappy or suffering with problems as it takes their focus away from themselves or makes them feel better about themselves?

What about the abusive text messages/phone calls that seem intent on sabotaging a friendship. They don't begin the friendship in this way obviously, despite the drinking problem still being their, yet they gradually make the concious decision to do this...do they?

Why do they force people out of their life's, yet pin the blame for it on that person?

These are situations that have occurred in my particular case and my af puts it down to the disease in most cases. She did even admit that she knew she was confusing me, but didn't really elaborate much further, and didn't stop until she pushed me away, saying it was what i wanted (it wasn't at the time).

I understand getting rational/logical answers from an alcoholic is rarely going to happen, but it would be nice to hear opinions from others to things like this.