Hi, pals.
I honestly don't know what's happening to me. Honestly. Another binge, and as if the Bease laughing into my face: "See, I told you, you are doomed".
I feel like I am falling down and can't stop. Like I've lost grip of everything Badass I've gained during this two months. and my past is catching me up, swallowing and overshadowing.
And I honestly don't understand why my personality is so split. Why I can easily drag myself to the gym 6 times a week, be a badass when driving and supervising the department, and, at the same time be so scared of other people. And every day I face the same problem, and sometimes when I seem to see improvement, I am back to the initial point again.
I am at a loss. Where's that weak link that screws up all. Why I am so easily manipulated. Why there is always a dark cloud covering all the horizons and hiding the perspective?
I am so f$$d up. I am close to giving up.
Ok, I am close, but I am not going to. Maybe, it's a breaking point, the darkest hour before the dawn.
I need a good sleep. And tomorrow I will be again a brand new Badass. With a couple extra pounds, but still a Badass.
See you, pals.