Originally Posted by
lessgravity 
Thanks for all the replies.
I don't have an excuse or an explanation really. Scott - really doesn't have to do with that party - truth is I'm an at-home drunk so it's the times I'm by myself that I have the strongest urges.
Back on the train today.
Not suggesting that your party in itself was the cause, but go back and read your posts regarding that issue. You were purposefully putting yourself in situations where alcohol was prevalent just to "test" your resolve against your AV. That is of course done and history, but could your relapse perhaps be part of a larger issue not wanting to fully admit that you cannot control your drinking? I know I had that issue for literally years, trying different methods to quit or cut back but NONE of them worked until i finally admitted I was powerless/not able to control my drinking. And i'm not saying that from a 12 step perspective as I"m not an AA member, but I think one truly has to admit to themselves that they powerless over alcohol before you can truly be sober.
I wish you the best of luck, please stay with us and let us know how we can help.