Mmmm cookies.
I hate that he is feeling all of this
That's where the detachment comes in. Where we need to separate
his feelings from
our feelings. When we're enmeshed with an addict, we take on their feelings. I took on AXH's feelings so completely that I didn't have any of my own. But his feelings are his, just like his toenails are. They're not your responsibility.
AXH was never physically violent to me for 20 years. Until the last night. There are sports cars that are envious of how he could go from zero to wielding a knife in seconds flat. I'm glad you have a plan. And I'm glad the cat's out of the bag. There's nothing like a little public awareness to keep people behaving...