Hi kc,
Can't say I blame you. I wouldn't want to feel that either. Who would?
However, I would want to feel the great satisfaction of knowing I'm strong, courageous, forgiving, positive, and a whole lot of other great things I know I'm capable of being if I just feel what I feel, learn from it and move on. I can't have it both ways.
Living good is the best revenge. You do what's best for you now.