It's a process. You aren't going to be perfect; he isn't going to be perfect. No need to beat yourself up. We are all human and sometimes we say or do the wrong thing. And even when alcoholism isn't in the picture, relationships are plain difficult at times. Everyone occasionally says or does something that hurts his or her partner. You apologize when you do that, make it right if you can, and then let it go.
Go ahead and vent, but try not to obsess over it. Sometimes we can work ourselves into quite a state feeling desperate to feel BETTER. Better takes time. It's hard to be patient--believe me, I know! Keep working on getting to meetings for yourself. You also might find it helpful to get some good reading material. Al-Anon has some great books and there are a number of others that people here often recommend.