I tend to agree with BlueSkies, and please keep in mind that you really need to handle things in the way that best fits the relationship between you and your husband. There is not one precise way to handle any of this stuff. My husband and I both used private therapy. He did a rehab based on this and still continues to work with a doctor, he is 14+ months clean now. His doctors included marriage counseling as part of his recovery, so that we could work through our past issues, and really focus on healthy interdependence. We started very early; when he was at about 6 weeks into a 12 week rehab. Its ok to talk and share with your husband, and its ok to be part of his recovery; you just have to determine what is comfortable for both of you - and that is different for everyone. He has to lead his own recovery process, he has to find his own way and grow confident in himself... And you also have to find your own way, deal with your own issues. Just keep in mind for many people there is crossover and it works just fine. It did for my family.