And I don't mean going to a beach in Mexico - I mean "could you please just stop the world for two weeks so I can get some rest?"
I'm gonna vent. It's just a vent. I'm aware I'm blessed beyond belief and strong to have made it this far and I'll make it the rest of the way too. But this is my irrational "instead-of-screaming-hysterically-at-the-grocery-packer-because-he-put-the-ice-cream-on-top-of-the-tomatoes" vent.
I'm in a very vulnerable point in my therapy. I'm not sure if that is what caused it (as you know, children like predators can smell weakness) but my entire brood has decided to simultaneously be uber-needy and demanding.
At the same time, the work project from heck (not hell, that's coming up still) is requiring overtime. And I'm in the middle of a bunch of court BS relating to AXH. And my parents have decided to move out of the home where they have lived for 50 years and need me to come help them sort and drive and pack since one is blind and the other doesn't have a license. My knight in shining armor is traveling for work. Two of my best friends are in the middle of divorces and call at least once a week. I want to be supportive but i don't have the energy. a third one just quit drinking (she probably should) and is scared to go to AA and calls every other day to tell me why she doesn't need AA. Last night she got mad when I told her I couldn't be her recovery buddy and that while I cheered her on, I can't spend an hour every other day on the phone with her.
And we're outgrowing my cheap crappy apartment and need to find something bigger and I'm juggling ideas for that.
I'm overwhelmed BUT I'm overwhelmed by largely NORMAL things. So that's the upside. The legal stuff and the therapy stuff and the kid stuff if alcohol related. The rest? That's just life.
But I do feel like a bunch of things laid in waiting until there were enough of them that they could attack me in a group. (I've told them they're chickenshit and that it's terribly unfair to gang up on a person like that, but my problems seem to have a hearing problem.)
So that's my vent. Now I'm gonna take a deep breath, grab my light saber and some
Chocolate and go out there and fight the good fight again. Thanks for listening and may the force be with you.