gubersbunny, remember that anything you do or don't do is going to deter him from his recovery if he wants it. He has to learn to deal with life on l ife's terms just the same way that you (and all of us) have to.
He needs lots of space from you right now--and the same for you.
I remember the first time my oldest son needed stitches for a small laceration on his chin as a toddler. In the E.R., as I turned him over to the staff--the Dr. told me that "this is going to be harder for you than for him" and suggested that I go for a short walk outside. I did so, cause I don't think I could have stood by watching him cry.
I think, in a sort of way, this is similar---it is hard to watch a loved one in pain and not have the impulse to "make it better". The problem is, that this doesn't work very well with addiction recovery. They have to learn to cope with the emotions that alcohol, formerly, used to do.
He has very capable people at his disposal to help him.
Early recovery is hard on everyone.
dandylion