Jabe

My older sister is a meth addict and has been in and out of jail since I was 14. I am now 24. My older brother was the first to cut her off years ago and my parents and I just cut her off last year. For years and years my parents and tried to help her recover, from taking her back in every time she relapses or goes to jail to help her get back on her feet, to bringing her to various rehabs, to many interventions. Still, she always went back to the drugs.

I try not to be but I feel I am very resentful of her. Ever since i can remember, she's been very abusive towards me, used various amounts of drugs in front of me, and has not been what an older sister should be. I guess I feel like she's chosen drugs over her family. The last time my parents and i cut her off we gave her a choice, either you go to rehab and we support you and become a family again, or you choose the drugs and we cut you off completely. She chose the drugs.

I just got engaged and had a daughter and now my sister wants to pop back in my life. This is normal for her. Every couple of months for the past ten years she tries to pop back into our lives, never addressing the problem, just acting like nothing ever happened. Like she doesn't have a drug problem. Never once has she acknowledged that she has a problem or that she's done anything wrong. She always tells my parents and I that we send her away every chance we get but we only send her away every time she relapses. She says the we are the ones with the problem. She is in complete denial. She was recently pregnant while I was and was all over her social network boasting about it, then a couple months later told everyone on there how she got an abortion because nobody cares for her. My cousins saw her high on the street recently after that.

I know I shouldn't but sometimes I go on her social network to see how she is and sometimes she mentions is in some of her posts and how yes turned our backs on her. This makes me extremely angry because she is trying to act like we abandoned her for no reason. I message her sometimes saying that I love her but I do not support her drug habit and whenever she's ready to change all you have to do is call. But she doesn't call or she'll avoid what I said and just try to start asking me how things are with me and brings up old good times we had then I begin getting angry Because she never wants to address the problem and we end up arguing.

Anyway, if there's anything I learned the past 10 years, it's that you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. But I still can't help but feel upset. Since the last time we cut her out last year my parents and I have been doing much better moving on with our lives.

Now she wants to meet my daughter but I don't want her around her at all. I don't want my daughter to grow up seeing or being around what I did. I don't want to explain why her auntie is in and out of jail or why she is acting weird (drugged up) and talking to herself (which she does while she's high). I also don't want my sister coming and leaving my daughters life whenever she feel is convenient for her. There is no stability there and I don't think it would be fair to my daughter or my family. My sister called me a snob on her social network for everyone to see after I told her all of this through a message. She still does not get it..

Are my parents and i wrong for cutting her out of our lives completely? Does it make me a bad person for being resentful towards her for all that she's put me and my family through? Am I wrong for not wanting my daughter anywhere near her?