Wow, OK cool. I remember hearing people talk about "marijuana maintenance" back in, when was it...I went into treatment in December '97. There was a huge divide amongst our community over it. Some people were using it and still coming to meetings saying they were clean, yadda yadda yadda, I was in the actual treatment center at the time so I wasn't told any of the specifics.
I think the most important thing is that you are on track and that your support system is in place. If the suboxone is working for you and it is like you said just one of a set of tools or systems or medications you have in place to help you, than that sounds great.
I am grateful for you and for this site today! My whole world came crashing down on me yesterday, and it's not like back home where at least SOME people understand addiction, here people haven't got the slightest clue what I am going through and everyone keeps dumping more and more negativity on me. Yesterday I was locked out of my own home, with no money and no subway card, no food, nothing! Since last week when a judgmental nurse took it upon herself to make sure I did not get my meds, I got withdrawal sickness, and on and on and on and on. For six days in a row people dumped on me, most of it was my fault and a result of me shucking my responsibilities lately, but the amount of things that went wrong in a row and the way that I was treated had me even contemplating suicide it got so bad.
I don't know where I'm going with this, I'm not going to kill myself, but it has been a really difficult week and ah yes, this site, and you have really helped me to vent a lot of the negative energy that was shoved onto my plate. I feel scattered, its hard to explain everything. There is SO MUCH to explain and in the interests of saving time and saving your eyes from reading too much, I am editing a lot out, but the result it a bit of a scattered explanation and feeling.
I know what you mean about how sometimes we feel like being in a daze would be just the ticket, actually I am reading a very interesting book, that touches on addiction and that exact notion. It's called: "Allen Carr's Easy Way To Stop Smoking." It's brilliant! I love it! If you want I can send you a PDF file, but it was transcribed by someone in Malaysia and there are tonnes of typos. I am editing it as I read it, and am about half way through it. When I finish reading it, I am going to open it in Photoshop and fix all of the typos, like hundreds
then fire the file out to all of my friends. I can send you anytime if you want.
Anyways, I can see now how just having conversations with people on here can keep one focused on staying clean and sober and keeping out of trouble. I think I'm still pretty scattered and losing track of things I was going to write about, but for the most part, I think I am conveying most of what I set out to convey.
Ciao for now. Hope you are well.