Hey One, no apologies necessary! That's what we are all here for! And that's what makes this place such a great site. As far as debating recovery methods, it's okay to discuss different types the idea is just not to get into putting down anyone's recovery method or say only one way is the way or one is better than another, etc. I don't think you need to worry about it.
I can relate about prior struggles with addiction. I was what would now be called a binge drinker in my late teens and early twenties (80s) and then developed a marijuana addiction in my twenties. I got through both but thought the substances were the problem, not me, you know? So, once the substance were gone, no problem. Didn't even occur to me *I* was the problem or that I was an addict. Even though my adoptive father was an alcoholic that totally affected my life.
I don't have your experiences with being an athlete but I can definitely relate with losing your sense of self, of life's purpose, of not knowing what to do. My life in no way turned out how I had fantasized but I have gianed a lot, too. At 49 I'm at a crossroads of where do I go from here? I did finally figure out that being in a constant drugged out haze wasn't going to bring me happiness. Though, like any addict, I still have a big part of me that thinks blanking out with oxy will make things better. Sigh....
Suboxone is a maintenance medication, like methadone, though it acts differently in the body. If you look it up online you can find a lot of information and there's also a suboxone subforum in the substance abuse section. I don't know if it's available in South Korea but I think it is becoming more world wide.
I know there are a lot of opinions on maintenance meds but for myself it has been a lifesaver. I honestly do not think I would have even one day of clean time without it. So you might want to check it or methadone out. I know methadone can help a lot with pain but of course it has its own issues too.
The main thing I can say about using maintenance meds, from my own experience so far and reading other's stories, it is good to go in with the intent of not staying on it long term. Knowing it is to help taper can help you not get stuck on it. The other thing is to use it as one tool in recovery not the only tool.
Well, speaking of going on and on!
