Thank you very much Lyoness! It's really helpful to know others have gone through the same / similar experiences. I listed my dosage but I failed to mention that I almost never stick to the amount that my doctor prescribes. I am past the full blown addiction phase and am trying to hold it together long enough to get into some sort of recovery program, whilst everything around me is systematically falling apart one thing after the other.
As I mentioned in my post, I am an expat living overseas at the moment and over here I have not been able to find any support groups / meetings to attend, let alone any in English. I did not mention that I have been through recovery before. In my last year of high school I had a very cliche crisis. I blew my knee out after just attending a camp filled with NCAA coaches who were scouting players for their division 2 and 3 schools. For a small town Canadian kid, that was pretty good. But on with the cliche, I mean, story.
Same old song, kid with stars in his eyes to play professional sports, has potential and just as things are about to turn the corner for him, an injury sidelines him and goodbye future, goodbye identity, and goodbye my hopes and dreams. My entire existence revolved around basketball.
Enter painkillers, subsequent angst and new found taste for altering my state of consciousness and enter a teenage kid onto the Toronto rave scene in the mid 90's. Designer drugs and DJ'ing and happy happy happy; until one day nine months down the road, not so happy.
I won't elaborate, I will leave it at that. I spent 3 years working my ass of climbing out of the hole I dug, but I made it out. I worked for the family business, went back to school, went to university, trained for and competed in Olympic distance triathlons, I even kept DJ'ing all the while staying sober. I stayed sober for 3 years and then just lost track of my sobriety. I started drinking again, nothing too crazy, but suffice to say I had months where I drank every day for about a week or so and I had months where I didn't drink at all.
Eventually it lead me here. I should point out, if it isn't painfully obvious, that I do not frequent chat rooms or blogs or anything like that. If I am going off too much on tangents, just talking about myself, plz let me know. I am not familiar with chat room etiquette or more specifically, how things work on this site.
I thought if I explained my experiences it would be helpful for people to get to know me. I gather that we can not debate ways of staying sober? Something like that, but other than that, I don't really know what that deal is. Please let me know if I am doing something(s) wrong.
Wow, I really did not intend to go off on this tangent. I was responding to Lyoness. Right, with regard to hyperalgesia, I am aware of it and I think that I am hyperalgesiac. But with the other thing, the other medication, I am not familiar with it. I will look it up, thank you. I know that with oxycontin, the temptation to abuse it, namely to crush it and ingest it all at once via the blood brain barrier, it is too much for me. I can't resist taking it all at once.
I have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday, if you guys are in North America, that's your Monday, and I will ask about the other medications then. How about patches? They have trans-dermal patches here in Korea just like for niccotine.
Anyways, sorry for the novel, I was just going to write a quick reply and then realized that I forgot to mention I am not new to recovery. That was the shortest explanation I could write.
I hope all is well with you and everyone else as well. Thanks again for sharing, it really helps knowing that I am not alone.
