Originally Posted by
dandylion 
Dear rry, you say that you don't have the heart to "kick him out YET". This begs the question of what will give you the "Heart"? Hammer recently talked about the concept of co-dependent types (like us) tend to operate from a "Rules" mentality. (Alcoholics from a Feeling-based position). For example: "I can't leave him until he hits me".
I wonder if this might apply to you in your situation. Is there a rule or certain thing that will be your line i n the sand?
It is also said that when one won't/can't leave a toxic situation--the reason lies somewhere in the FOG---F=fear O=obligation G=guilt. I tend to believe this, empirically.
These are some of my thoughts about your post....
dandylion
Dandylion, that is a very good question. The rule or line in the sand. I don't believe I have one, because I allowed my standards to be lowered. He's not violent so I never worried about physical abuse. Wow, I don't know. "Yet" is because I convinced myself that when he completes his classes in December, he will start to help with the bills. It's so helpful to type the words that I think, because they look unreal on my screen. He got a paycheck today but hasn't given me any cash for bills. He's been drinking, because he's sleep already. Usually I'd go through his s**t, but I have time to read my codependent book. Thank you all so much.