Originally Posted by NorCaliGal

Hello all -

I've been lurking for a little while now. Just like many, I was trying to determine if I REALLY had a problem with alcohol...how ridiculous... it's so true the statement I've seen many times here that if you think you might have a problem, then you probably do.

So here I am, day one. It's not my first day one mind you, but hopefully my last. Had approximately six beers yesterday over a nine hour period, and feeling really really cruddy today. Not full fledged hangover, but definitely not well: chills, rapid heartbeat, heartburn, "intestinal distress", slight headache. Slept horribly last night, kept waking up and of course asking myself throughout the night why did I have those drinks? (sidebar question - does anybody but me experience horrible night sweats but only on their feet? or am I an odd-ball?)

Funny thing with me is I seem to be developing LESS of a tolerance for alcohol as time goes on. I can no longer stomach mixed drinks or hard alcohol, the smell of wine is nauseating, and now even just a few beers leaves me feeling just horrible the next day (I've felt the same way I feel today after just two beers the night before!). Even though I should consider this a good thing I guess that will possibly help me stick to sobriety, I can't help thinking that it's odd. Seems like most people have increased alcohol tolerance as they go along?

In any case, day one here. It seems most "day oners" get asked about their plan to stay sober. My plan at this point is the one day at a time decision not to drink, and checking in on this site to remain accountable. Although I realize AA works for so many people, there are some aspects of AA that I'm not sure I agree with, so for now I don't feel comfortable with AA - but I'm not closing myself off to it as a future option.

I have some challenges ahead. My boyfriend who I love dearly is a binge drinker who has just recently acknowledged that he needs to make changes but has not embraced complete sobriety yet (we don't live together, which is a good thing at this point, but lets throw in some classic co-dependent issues here as well, shall we?) Some upcoming social events where alcohol will be present, including a huge family wedding, a 50th birthday party, a retirement dinner, and friends asking at every turn if we have used their Christmas gift which was a wine tasting tour. I normally have no problem not drinking when I'm at home alone, but social situations are my downfall. I succumb horribly to peer pressure - have long ago determined that I drink in response to poor self esteem and the urge to feel like part of the crowd or to fit in (or forget that I feel like I don't fit in!)

Anywhoo, and since I tend to repeat myself a lot, here I am day one -

Thanks for reading -
NCG