Carlotta and SparkleKitty, thank you for your encouragement and support. And I imagine he will contact me again and I know I am and will be completely done, there is no more need to communicate with him no matter how he baits me.
EverHopeful, yes, he's online again. Hedging his bets, trying to pull me in and do his thing. I'm letting go of all that. I feel so much better already today, like I've let something go that I was holding onto despite my brave words.
I'm really looking forward to Al-Anon on the advice of many of you. I don't want to date now or soon, and I love the idea of replacing my old behaviors and habits, and even instincts, so I am wiser and more self-caring when the day comes to be ready to date again someday. While my exABF was the first I'm sure was an alcoholic, a boyfriend prior may have been too and was certainly verbally abusive, and my ex-husband of a decade was emotionally unavailable in other ways. While all 3 were very different, none were good for me and in all 3 cases I ended things. I knew enough to draw boundaries for myself, but I don't want to ever chose a man who is alcoholic or emotionally unavailable, and even more so, I want to for and learn my own healthier behaviors!
Thank you everybody.