Response 3
I just wanted to come and respond to some questions, comments and concerns.
Florence made the comment,"These quotes are A+, A1 codependency in action. Your intentions for him. Achieving goals for him. Leading him in the right/wrong direction."
This could be true. It could be my "fixer", "planner", or "codependency" coming through. To be quite honest, I don't believe these are "flawed" character traits. This, of course, is my perspective.
Alcoholic relationship or not, I believe there is a balance to the world. There are independent people, codependent people and dependent people. Each has a very important and intricate role to play. If the world was full of independent people there wouldn't be no need for team building exercises taught throughout life.
It could also be perceived that people in,"Alanon" and in other support groups have become codependent on them. Though, this is just a perspective and differs from person to person.
Soberlicious stated,"Thats's where your logic is flawed. You can't achieve something for him"
As I've stated before I could always be wrong but I want to try every method first.
Before I depart I wanted to address this statement,"You sound very much like her with your self-involvement and your mask of humility, and so--yeah, you trigger the hell out of me."
Argnotthisagain, though I wish your pain could be wiped clean I can't take ownership of your emotions. Perhaps, the book,"The Heart of the Soul: Emotional Awareness" by Gary Zukav and Linda Francis could help you.
I empathize with your past pain and my greatest hope is that one day it can be resolved.
Moreover, I think the quote by Snowie71 will also help you.
Snow71 stated,"Your last post triggered the hell out of me - so much so that I couldn't respond and deleted the app from my iPhone. That's my stuff, not yours"
To allfourcnm, SecondMilitia, Florence, Soberlicious and Argnotthisagain, "Thank you."