Some write in flowery language, some very dramatic, and some use only a few words and expect it to tie into a whole philosophy. What is important is only that you are true to yourself, and somehow what you share here helps you along your journey. We all learn as we go, grow and change.
Personally I think it is good news that your boyfriend is trying to moderate his alcohol use. It is also good that you can have conversations about his alcoholism, when it started, how he feels about it. I don’t hear disappointment, shame, or blame when you speak to him. You are just opening dialog so he can share his emotions and thoughts. I agree talking can become circular with no progress being made, but sometimes we cannot judge when it is a person takes steps towards progression; change starts somewhere. It happens is stage I believe, and it starts in the mind and the soul.
I also do think addiction is progressive; and especially in the early stages, our love does have power in helping those we love identify their problem and make changes. In fact there is a whole program for family that is based on our providing positive reinforcement and encouragement of non-drinking, non-using behavior. It is called Craft (community reinforcement and family training) and is proven successful in getting people to moderate their drinking, and also with the ultimate goal; their seeking treatment. Your views, and interaction with Mr Hero seem in line with this process, and there is nothing wrong with it. Its even recommended by the National Institute of Drug Abuse. If your interested in learning about this, please send me a note and I can provide resources for you.
Here's wishing a Happy Independence Day to you and Mr. Hero.