Originally Posted by MellaticThorn
Whether or not I'm aware of how to achieve this is still an ephemeral thought.
Thats's where your logic is flawed. You can't achieve something
for him.
Others often say an addicted person can't quit for someone else. I don't agree with this 100%. When the possibility of losing my children was very real, I decided that was indeed important enough for me. That initial reason gave me just enough of a foothold on quitting to get some clarity. Now many years later, never drinking is my chosen path, but its now way beyond just for keeping my children.
It's because I decided.
I decided it was time.
I'm sorry to tell you that it doesn't matter what you do or don't do, what path you take, what strategies you use, what you learn about addiction, how far you delve into his childhood,
it's all moot until he decides he is done.
How much control do you have in helping him to decide he is done? Much less than you think, unfortunately.
I believe you are correct in honoring his choices. It's his right to drink himself, even to death if he chooses. So standing by him is also your choice. If spending time with him drunk outweighs not spending time with him at all, then carry on. When and if it doesn't though, you'll know it's time to move on. In the meantime though, consider your relationship a poly amorous triad...you, him, and his addiction.