Agreeing with what many have said here. I tried the micromanaging and you know what happened? He binged, he did something stupid, and there was still nothing I could do to stop it. I've been at a crossroads for a long time in my marriage, but I have given up on managing him. I don't change my life for him, I go out with my friends, I leave and go on vacation even though I know he will leave the dog alone or lose the dog which he's done before. I don't stop living just because he may get into trouble. My AH also has a DUI but was not directed to go to AA. The trust is where I struggle, and I can totally relate to your post. The best thing I ever did for myself was getting into Al Anon and getting a sponsor. She helps keep me sane and reminds me that he's a grown man and there is nothing I can or should do to prevent him from living his own life. Hugs to you!