Over the las two years of my RAW I have been through three relapses, a DUI, another trip to rehab and her start of individual counselling.
I have hit two crossroads during this for myself and right now my marriage is in a jello like state. Firming up but has a little wiggle still.
I had to write down recently for myself what I trusted my RAW with. I started with simple things like not burn the house down. It was hard to do at first becasue I felt like I couldn't trust either, but I know there are some things left in the trust bowl.
Anxiety was a different issue for me and I had never had it until all of this started. I learned breathing techniques and found little exercises to detach myself from the situation. Sometimes I do good, other times not so good. i am learning to do it which is important for me.
I go to a few Al-Anon meetings each week. It is co-located with the AA groups. I have friends in there who have years of sobriety (20+). Besides the Al-Anon people, they are someone that I can sit and talk with who have provided me perspective in things with my RAW. They have never told me to stay married, get divorced or do anything crazy. Just perspective on the mind of my RAW.
For me, I have noticed the emotional pain my RAW went through after a slip/relapse. She had discussed not deserving a marriage or children. I at one point looked at my marriage and was upset that it did not fit the MODEL that I thought it was when I got married 20 years ago.
So your question is "Is it doomed?"
IMO....not necessarily. If both of you really want it you will do what you have to resolve your issues. Be aware of your feelings, AA teachs A's about HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired). That works for us also, most of the time the anxiety and trust issues bubble up when one of those things is going on.
If you haven't, go to an Al-Anon meeting. Don't have to talk, you might get hugged by a random stranger if they have a "greeter" assigned. Matter of fact, you might get multiple hugs from multiple random strangers. Give it 5 or 6 meetings. There are a LOT of us in this situation other than the random internet bots who type on forums. Those meetings have helped me immensly. There are a lot of helpful people in there who care and will help if you give it the chance.
Hang in there, sometimes the straight line life we imagine (start/marriage/kids/finish) has a few turns.