Nighthawk8820

I never did rehab or AA, and here I am at 2 years sobriety and going strong. What I did was I changed everything, starting with my core. I changed my outlooks and how I lived my entire life. Its a process, but you have to start somewhere. I had Horrible anxiety, so I started by doing things I was scared of. Small things lead to bigger and bigger.........now I think I am capable of just about anything. I dont mean like skydiving or base jumping. I mean like waking up in a few days and maybe going shopping on your own, going somewhere new, signing up for school, getting a job or if you have one, maybe a new one. Things like that. Just posting on here is stepping out of your comfort zone, right? So that is already a positive step. I didnt have anxiety before, like growing up, and I was determined to break free of the chains addiction puts on you and the anxiety, depression, and desperation my alcoholism caused. I knew there was a great big world out there and it was up to me, and GOD (whatever you believe in), to go out and make the most of this one life I was given. I couldnt stand living how I was at the time and I was determined to get out of it, no matter what it took. I think you have to get to that point to make it happen, and when and how you get to that point depends on you. I was sick of watching everyone else move on and up, while I was in my own personal hell created by a simple liquid. Why did I give it so much power over me?

The trick is to get as much out of sobriety as possible! You have to grow and challenge yourself in every way, but you will amaze yourself with the changes you are able to make, but it takes an inner strength you probably are unaware that you even possess, but you do have it in you.......we all do. Start small and simple. First, set the bottle down. Then withdrawal comes, which is unpleasant, but the price you pay to get to the good side. Then, you have to change your daily routine and social circles. This can be tough and is often a deal breaker for some. They get lonely while in transition, but do nothing to remedy it out of fear of the unknown. This is a costly mistake, but one many addicts make. I suggest researching everything under the sun about alcoholism, withdrawal, addiction, anxiety, and PAWS (which is crucial or you will think you are going insane).

Then, after a while things just start changing, and its pretty amazing. That is where you may start to get comfortable, which is another mistake. Never let your guard down. Your addiction never dies, and you will never be the type to casually drink or moderate yourself. Its easy for people to forget how bad it was at the start, and think "Ive got this thing licked, I can moderate myself now" or "Im cured, thank heavens.....I can drink again" or the worst one...."Im lonely and things are progressing the way I hoped, id rather be drunk, so bring out the booze". They aren't progressing because they aren't doing anything or have stopped being proactive with their personal growth or challenging themselves. Always be growing, always push yourself, and always remind yourself where you are now, and do whatever it takes to not end up back at square 1. That is my best advice to you. It is possible without rehab or spending any money, but you will have to work twice as hard. You can do it, and I promise you, its more than worth it.