Hi & welcome to the site. I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time and believe me I know the feelings you are going through. This disease is progressive and if left untreated it only gets worse. While I know everyone's story is different, yours sounds a lot like mine did 3 yrs in with my now EXABF. I have a post entitled "Last night." If you take a look at that post and all of the comments that follow you will see where I found myself at 7 years and how the relationship ended. I wish you the best but your instincts are telling you to listen so pay close attention and yes, IMO, getting to an Al Anon meeting would be really helpful. They say go to at least 6 before you decide if it's for you or not. I'm glad I did...and glad I keep going. This is painful no matter how you slice it...but there are people there to help you along the way so you are not so alone. Again, my story may be an extreme version of things but it progressed to that stage over time, along with my ex's alcohol use and my codependency.
I wish you well
