Originally Posted by
sadielady 
I think part is grieving the relationship I thought we had that I now really know down deep isn't there or possible. And part is grieving for him, this beautiful human being who can't get out of his own way and is slowly killing himself.
I agree with this above, and it is normal to have these feelings. So go ahead and feel them! It won't last; like all things it too shall pass.
Big hugs today,
~T