Thks sleepy22. Your post really helped. Could I ask how things worked out with your wife? Do you think she ever realised/was sorry for the hurt she caused? Or did it not matter in the end? I'm not sure why it seems to matter so much to me.
I would love to go to meetings but we're pretty much in the middle of nowhere. They do have counscelling services tho so I'm going to give them a call tmor & hope they can squeeze me in. Otherwise I will see if I can go when in the city for a few weeks next week.
I actually spoke to him not long ago. I called. Stupid I know but I just wanted to have my say. Of course he's been doing nothing wrong, his uncle never picked him up, he hasn't gone anywhere but stayed at his nephews, he hasnt used for 2 weeks, he'll get help as soon as comes home (heard that promise twice before) blah blah blah same old story. He didn't apologise for his behaviour. He didn't sound sorry, just defensive. He threw in a few lies about wat I must be up to which made me laugh. Oh yes it's all party party here as a single mother with 2 kids!!! It sounds strange but I actually feel better from this conversation. I've said my bit (we have no future until recovery) & it's up to him now. At least he knows where I stand, officially. A letter wasn't enough closure for me.
My girls are beautiful thkyou & yes keep me very busy. Shopping, beach & park today did a world of good.