Originally Posted by
EnglishGarden 
Whether it is addiction or not, is this really all right with you:
"Friday night is the usual night my husband goes out after work and drinks AND GETS HIS DRUGS."
I can tell you that if I was married to someone who used cocaine AT ALL, it would not be okay with me.
It is not okay. He is moving into the party life. He is moving into the drug lifestyle. What you are tolerating would not be okay with most healthy women. A husband doing illegal drugs, snorting or smoking coke as a way to unwind after a week of work . . . a healthy woman would not see this as okay whether it is addiction or not.
Your life has become so small that you can't see it. This is what starts to happen. Believe me. What others can see, you can't see.
You're married. You have a home together. Cocaine should not be a part of this picture. At all.
I think some of this is out of context. He has only been doing this the last couple of months, and I feel like at first I didnt realize really what was going on. Its nothing Ive seen before. I guess it is sort of the party life though. He never used to go out with guys after work on Friday. Never came home high.
I dont think my life has become small except I do see where I have been isolating for these last couple of months over the weekends. At first I felt somewhat responsible like I condoned it when he first started and I didnt object very strongly, then I was in shock that he would act the way he was, and then I was trying to talk to him but see now that my words were not really being heard because I would talk to him when he was high, or when he was feeling sick and coming down. Then Monday would arrive and all would be normal and I let it go. It was an unhealthy cycle. I am trying now to understand it, and break it. I think I am making progress. I have told one of my close friends and now i have a place to go if he uses again on the weekend. I have talked to him at the proper times during the week when he is not using and more clear. I saw some changes last weekend, and after more talking, and him being in the guest room most of the week, I hope he has had time to think also. He says he has, and now I have to wait and see. I am also thinking still about going to see a counselor for myself, someone who knows about addiction and can advise me on what to do. Even if my husband stops using this weekend, I still think he needs to talk to someone too. I think he may be on the verge of losing control. That part is very scary.