When my husband came back after his first speed week long 'holiday' we had a real talk a few nights in from his return. He also told me he wasn't into it bad & didn't need help as he could just stop. Just like that. He'd been on it for around 6wks in total at this stage (well thats what i thought at the time) so i thought this could be possible.
He told me some crazy stories about the people he had been hanging out with, ie. the lies they told for money & the trouble they were getting themselves in to. He said he didn't want anything to do with those people ever again...1.5wks later he was back there...
I wanted to believe him sooooo bad even tho I had red lights flashing.
See how you go this weekend. You'll soon figure out how bad (or not) things are & how much more of this you are able/willing to take. it doesnt sound like you're quite ready to make any big changes just yet. Youve just got to ride the wave for a while longer until it takes you to that point. Just be prepared.
Goodluck, breathe & stay safe